Illegitimate Fear

The Future. Is it something to be scared of or to embrace. Just the other night I was having a conversation with some friends when it took a deep turn. I stated that I was afraid of the future, Like weddings, kids, funerals… I cannot talk about any of it. This started a chain of thought which got me thinking as to what the root cause of this fear is? Is it a rational fear or is it one that has no legitimate cause or reason? I have really had to stop, think and process this idea and I think I am beginning to come up with an answer.IMG_4665

The first part is acceptance. Subconsciously I am consistently worried about being accepted for who I am. Lets be honest here, I am weird, socially awkward, have high functioning autism and am quirky in pretty much every respect. I personally think that it would be pretty hard to accept me for who I am. This is not a legitimate fear as I have a plethora of friends but it is one that I have nonetheless. Society and media have set in place constraints on being a ‘cool’ or ‘normal’ person in todays world. These are silly but they do affect all of us in some way. Further to this I have a want to have a girlfriend which whilst awesome is something that I can probably wait for. Whether it be finding the right girl or the right time for me. As part of this however I am fearful that I will never have a girlfriend as no one will accept me as I am with all of my weirdness and issues.

Is this legitimate, perhaps or perhaps not. Either way it is something that I have a great level of internal turmoil about. The future is my single greatest fear, however when I stop, think rationally and process it I realise that my fears whilst substantial in the human context are nothing to be worried about in the Godly context. The bible says that God has a plan for everything and that through him all things are possible. I know that God has a plan for my life and I just have to live for him and things will have a way of taking care of themselves. I am hugely excited for what the future hols in my life and I simply need to stop. Listen to God and let him take control of my life.

Andrew Pratt 2016

Published by Andrew Pratt

I am a second year intern Pastor. Constantly learning more about where I fit in this world and just doing life with my amazing wife Michaela as best I can. Join me on this journey.

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